I had a day by myself yesterday and I feel tons better. Went to my mom and dad's house to clean and stayed for dinner. Had a blast with my dad. He is so funny. Today I get to get out of this house again. I may be working out in the hot sun today but at least I'll be out of this house. I'm going with my dad to help him with some sidework that he is doing for some friends of my aunt.
I don't feel as sad today or angry with the world. I'm so glad that I feel better because I hate feeling sad.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Feeling a little down lately....
I think not working is keeping me feeling sad. All I do is stay in the house, do homework, housework and spend all my time with my kids. Don't get me wrong, I like spending time with my kids and everything but I need some adult time too. My husband and I haven't been out on a date since our anniversary in December. It's nice being so close to family and what not but they don't take both kids overnight unless I beg. They will take Jarrett all the time overnight but not Joel. I guess it is easier to have a night out when you only have one kid. We have to do something soon before I go crazy.
The other thing that makes me sad lately is Justin's off hours. I feel like I never get to see him because by the time he gets home from work I have to start homework and then after I am done with that I'm exhausted and it is usually late so I have to go to bed in order to get up early for Jarrett.
I hardly ever have any time for myself. I have to wait for Justin to be home to take a damn shower because if I am out of ear shot for more than 5 minutes in this house, someone is crying, usually Joel but Jarrett will too sometimes. People should be a fly on the wall when I have to go to the bathroom. My kids cry and whine for something EVERY TIME I have to go to the bathroom or want to go outside for a smoke. I need a break. Even as I type this my kids are fighting and yelling back and forth and asking me for stuff. Imagine that............
The other thing that makes me sad lately is Justin's off hours. I feel like I never get to see him because by the time he gets home from work I have to start homework and then after I am done with that I'm exhausted and it is usually late so I have to go to bed in order to get up early for Jarrett.
I hardly ever have any time for myself. I have to wait for Justin to be home to take a damn shower because if I am out of ear shot for more than 5 minutes in this house, someone is crying, usually Joel but Jarrett will too sometimes. People should be a fly on the wall when I have to go to the bathroom. My kids cry and whine for something EVERY TIME I have to go to the bathroom or want to go outside for a smoke. I need a break. Even as I type this my kids are fighting and yelling back and forth and asking me for stuff. Imagine that............
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Totally Overwhelmed...
Well, lately things have been very stressful. Between getting turned down for jobs, school , the house, the kids and my stomach issues I have not been sleeping well. I am feeling overwhelmed with everything. I think I was less overwhelmed and less stressed when I was working a full time job as well as doing everything else. My stomach ulcers are flairing up lately which is caused by my stress. Because of my stomach issues, I have been getting behind on assignments for school since I am completely wiped out every day.
I only have 12 more classes before I graduate. I am worried about this too. After I graduate, am I going to find a job at least closely related to the field that I am going to school for? Or, am I going to have a $60,000 debt that I will have to pay back and never get a job in my field (my debt isn't that much but you know what I mean)? I am freaking out about this. I can't believe that it has been almost 3 years since I went back to college. I am actually sick over graduating too. I don't want to be done with school. I love school. I do want to go back and get my Master's degree but I know that probably won't happen ever. I just can't afford it.
That is another thing that bugs the shit out of me. I can't get a damn job. I am constantly worried about money. I feel like I am not helping my family. Even though, I am saving us money by not having the kids in day care and what not. The other thing is how am I going to afford to pay off my student loans. I just can't understand why people like me (meaning, people in the lower income bracket) cannot get help paying for school. All the money that the government spends on crap but they can't help people get an education or give more money to schools for our children to get a good education.
Eh....I'm going to have a stroke if I can't settle myself down.
I only have 12 more classes before I graduate. I am worried about this too. After I graduate, am I going to find a job at least closely related to the field that I am going to school for? Or, am I going to have a $60,000 debt that I will have to pay back and never get a job in my field (my debt isn't that much but you know what I mean)? I am freaking out about this. I can't believe that it has been almost 3 years since I went back to college. I am actually sick over graduating too. I don't want to be done with school. I love school. I do want to go back and get my Master's degree but I know that probably won't happen ever. I just can't afford it.
That is another thing that bugs the shit out of me. I can't get a damn job. I am constantly worried about money. I feel like I am not helping my family. Even though, I am saving us money by not having the kids in day care and what not. The other thing is how am I going to afford to pay off my student loans. I just can't understand why people like me (meaning, people in the lower income bracket) cannot get help paying for school. All the money that the government spends on crap but they can't help people get an education or give more money to schools for our children to get a good education.
Eh....I'm going to have a stroke if I can't settle myself down.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Pet Peeve (at least one of mine)
So, lately I have noticed that people put down those that are on the welfare programs. I guess I take offense to this because I am on the program right now. I don't know what bothers me more, the put downs or the fact that if you have never been on the program then you don't know.
Here are some questions that I have for people that put others down:
1. Do you think that I like not having a job?
2. Do you think that I like feeling that I can't take care of my family on my own?
3. Do you think that I like feeling that I am taking more than my share of welfare money because the job market is so bad that I can't get a job?
4. Do you think that I like having to borrow money off of my family to pay my bills because what my husband makes doesn't quite pay the bills?
I'm sure that I can think of other questions if I wanted to sit here all day and ponder on them and jot them all down.
My point is, there are some out there that use and abuse the system yes. I think that the system should be able to pop in on families that are on welfare to see how they are living. I also think that, as I saw on facebook today, that drug testing should be mandatory in order to stay on the program.
However, as I have learned in my Sociology class this past semester: You cannot stereotype a whole group based on a few from that group.
So, before you judge someone that is on the welfare programs maybe you should stop and think about their situation and ask yourself how you would feel if someone was judging you about your misfortunes.
"People fear what they do not understand and hate what they cannot conquer." ~Andrew Smith
Here are some questions that I have for people that put others down:
1. Do you think that I like not having a job?
2. Do you think that I like feeling that I can't take care of my family on my own?
3. Do you think that I like feeling that I am taking more than my share of welfare money because the job market is so bad that I can't get a job?
4. Do you think that I like having to borrow money off of my family to pay my bills because what my husband makes doesn't quite pay the bills?
I'm sure that I can think of other questions if I wanted to sit here all day and ponder on them and jot them all down.
My point is, there are some out there that use and abuse the system yes. I think that the system should be able to pop in on families that are on welfare to see how they are living. I also think that, as I saw on facebook today, that drug testing should be mandatory in order to stay on the program.
However, as I have learned in my Sociology class this past semester: You cannot stereotype a whole group based on a few from that group.
So, before you judge someone that is on the welfare programs maybe you should stop and think about their situation and ask yourself how you would feel if someone was judging you about your misfortunes.
"People fear what they do not understand and hate what they cannot conquer." ~Andrew Smith
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Does anyone else question things?
So, I'm taking a critical thinking class for my humanities credits and it has me thinking about some things and questioning things.
How do we know that the sky is blue? The sun is yellow? The clouds are white? The grass is green? Do we know this because this is what we are taught? According to my text, we all have our own truths so technically if I said that the sky is green I wouldn't be wrong because I believe that it is true. What I want to know is why were these colors chosen for these examples that I provided?
Here is another example. Religion. When we are young we are taught that God is in Heaven and Satan is in Hell and Jesus Christ is the son of God and he died on the cross. Why are we taught this? Is this because this is what has been passed down from generation to generation? Is it because it is written in a book? Who wrote that book? How many people had a hand in writing this book? However, if I believe that these things do not exist then technically I am not wrong because it is my own truth and the same goes for those who do believe that they exist because it is their own truth.
Does anyone else question what we are told to be true? Or is this just me?
How do we know that the sky is blue? The sun is yellow? The clouds are white? The grass is green? Do we know this because this is what we are taught? According to my text, we all have our own truths so technically if I said that the sky is green I wouldn't be wrong because I believe that it is true. What I want to know is why were these colors chosen for these examples that I provided?
Here is another example. Religion. When we are young we are taught that God is in Heaven and Satan is in Hell and Jesus Christ is the son of God and he died on the cross. Why are we taught this? Is this because this is what has been passed down from generation to generation? Is it because it is written in a book? Who wrote that book? How many people had a hand in writing this book? However, if I believe that these things do not exist then technically I am not wrong because it is my own truth and the same goes for those who do believe that they exist because it is their own truth.
Does anyone else question what we are told to be true? Or is this just me?
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Something that has been bothering me...
Why is it when I express my opinion someone always has to put me down? I will not be naming any names or even giving hints about who I am speaking of because I don't need the drama. I am all for a debate between two people about their opinions on a topic but when you belittle someone's opinion you are belittling them.
I am a very open person and very opinionated and I love to hear other people's perspective on subjects but I do not, in not so many words, say their opinion is wrong or stupid. Maybe I am a little sensitive but still.
As my mother says, "Opinions are like assholes. Everybody has one!"
I am a very open person and very opinionated and I love to hear other people's perspective on subjects but I do not, in not so many words, say their opinion is wrong or stupid. Maybe I am a little sensitive but still.
As my mother says, "Opinions are like assholes. Everybody has one!"
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Disappointing Justice System
I am seriously disappointed in this country's justice system. I was just watching E Investigates and two teenagers were kidnapped and forced into prostitution. Their kidnappers only received 5, 6 1/2 and 8 years in prison. HOW???? It is so frustrating to know that if someone kidnaps my child, cross state lines AND force them into prostitution and be out in less than 10 years. Again, I say....HOW???? Do these children have to be murdered before true justice is served? There is something seriously wrong with this country's justice system's priorities! Most, if not all of the time, a rapist can be back in society in less than 10 years. A peeper can get a slap on the wrist. Ya, there's a great idea. Slap a peeper on the wrist so then they can be back on the streets peeping and then eventually escalate into rape and possibly even rape/murder. Isn't it the people of this country's job to keep each other safe from these monsters? Shouldn't the people of this country try their hardest to change the punishments of criminals? Do we really need to wait until someone gets killed before we decide to take action?
Someday I hope to be able to make a difference in this society. I cannot stand the fact that criminals get a slap on the wrist. Why should victims of these monsters have to live in fear their entire lives because their predators are allowed back on the streets after 2, 3, 5, or 10 years? The victims have done nothing wrong. Why are the victims being punished? That is what this justice system does, punishes the victims!
Does anyone else feel completely disgusted too? What can we do as law abiding citizens to help the victims?
Someday I hope to be able to make a difference in this society. I cannot stand the fact that criminals get a slap on the wrist. Why should victims of these monsters have to live in fear their entire lives because their predators are allowed back on the streets after 2, 3, 5, or 10 years? The victims have done nothing wrong. Why are the victims being punished? That is what this justice system does, punishes the victims!
Does anyone else feel completely disgusted too? What can we do as law abiding citizens to help the victims?
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